A reminder: this is my old blog. Go to www.practicalshepherding.com

For those who have just subscribed to this blog, this is my old one.  All my previous posts and where I currently blog is found here:  www.practicalshepherding.com

Thanks,

Brian

Take Note…this is my old blog. Go to the new blog

For those who have recently subscribed to my blog, thanks but I moved it the first of the year.  This is my old blog that I do not post on anymore.  I would encourage you to go to my new blog where you will find all my old posts and where I currently post about 3 days a week.  You can subscribe there as well.

new blog:  http://practicalshepherding.com

Thanks,

Brian Croft

Practical Shepherding blog has moved!!

Thanks to all who have supported this blog this past year.  I am excited to announce that we have launched a new Practical Shepherding blog.  The purpose and format will stay the same, but we have developed some additional resources with the hope that they will only enhance any service this blog has been to pastors and others in the past.   

Check out the “new and improved” Practical Shepherding blog at:

www.practicalshepherding.com

The new purpose page will explain some of those additional resources that I will be including alongside the original question and answer format.  You will be able to subscribe to this new blog in the same way as before.  Hope to see you there to continue this open dialogue about the issues of pastoral ministry and local church life.

What should be the opening words of a funeral service?

Opening a funeral service can feel as awkward as those first words you speak to the family who has just lost their loved one.  Yet, because of the attentiveness people give in those moments, we must seize the opportunity to choose carefully these words as they will set the tone for the entire service.  A good rule of thumb is to always allow God to speak before you do.  Keep in mind, though there are different kinds of people attending the funeral, they are all in their own way asking the question, “Why God?”  Choose a passage of Scripture that cuts through the questions, sorrow, and skepticism to declare the unchanging character of our great God.  Prepare in such a way that you can stand up, move to the pulpit and then say, “Hear these words about our great, unchanging God. . . .”

The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His deeds.  The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth.  He will fulfill the desires of those who fear Him; He will also hear their cry and will save them.  The Lord keeps all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy.  My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord and all flesh will bless His holy name forever and ever.  (Psalm 145:17-21)

God’s words will always be more powerful, profound, and pervasive than our own.  Begin by allowing God to pierce through the doubts by speaking first.   After you have prepared a welcome for those attending and state why you have gathered, prepare the rest of the funeral service around five areas, asking how the gospel can be accurately portrayed in them:  prayer, music, Scripture readings, eulogy, and sermon.

More posts on applying the gospel to these five areas to come in the future…

What should we, as pastors, love about preaching?

I love to preach God’s Word.  I love to proclaim the gospel.  I love to instruct and shepherd God’s people publicly.  These are gifts from God you and I experience each week as pastors that I have been freshly reminded of these last 3 weeks being out of the pulpit.  Yet, I have been reminded of something else that I deeply love about preaching that I have also missed these last 3 weeks.  It is something that we should especially love about preaching that I fear many do not.  It is something viewed as a burden…a means to an end…not a unique gift we are privileged to receive week in and week out.  I am referring to…

“The hard, intense wrestling match with God’s Word to prepare to preach.” 

There is something special about the hard, time-sensitive labor that is preparing to preach God’s Word in a few days.  It feeds and nourishes our own soul in a way that moves us to preach powerfully what we have found through intense study and prayer.  I recently had a young man say to me, “I love to preach, but I hate to prepare.”  This could have been his way of saying the labor to prepare is hard…because it is.  Yet, there is a legitimate risk in the heart of every preacher to “love to preach, but hate to prepare.” 

Dear brothers and fellow pastors, yes, the labor is hard.  It is intense.  It must be done in less than 6 days regardless what has happened to you in the week.  Yet, we must see our preparation as a gift from God.  It is the time where we study with an intensity that nothing else can produce.  Through that study our hearts and mind are pricked, challenged, fed, broken, instructed, shepherded, and molded by God Himself through His Word to make us who God wants us to be when we stand before our people to preach His Word. 

Therefore, pastors grow to love your preparation.  Pray that God would feed your soul as you prepare to feed others.  If you are not a pastor, pray earnestly throughout the week that God would do a great work in your pastor as he prepares to preach.  We have many joyful burdens as part of our calling as pastors.  I submit to you this is one we should all grow to love.

How do you know when it is time to leave a church as a support staff member?

 Though a common question, it is a difficult one to answer in most cases.  I have played an associate role at several different churches over the years, but each one brought its own unique challenges in discerning when it was time to leave.   I was recently emailed this question.  The common context of a question like this almost always involves disagreements with the pastor, with the general direction of the church, or even with what and how God’s Word is handled regularly.  I hope my attempt to answer this dear brother’s question will serve you in some way if you find yourself struggling to know when to stay and when to go.  My reply was this:

Dear ___________,

 

Thanks for writing and your thoughtfulness on this issue.  Sorry for my delayed response. 

 

Let me first encourage you and affirm something you have implied with your different teaching and pastoral roles at your church.  Despite being in a difficult church, you can still be very fruitful in gospel ministry in that place.  Teaching God’s Word in Bible study, discipling, sharing the gospel, and serving others in a difficult church was always fruitful ministry and excellent preparation to eventually leave and go pastor my own church. 

 

There is no special formula to know when to stay and when to leave.  I will say, I committed not to leave until the Lord opened a door to go to the next place.  One exception (of many) to this rule would be a false gospel being preached at your church.  Nevertheless, I would still encourage you with this general rule to stay put until led otherwise.  I think it is better to stay a little to long than leave too soon.

 

Also remember, the grass is rarely greener on the other side.  Wherever you go next, it will possibly have the same, if not more problems than you are experiencing now.  Make sure you and your wife don’t have that expectation that ministry will ever be easy or even easier somewhere else (this is easy to do).  One thing I can say for sure, you are exactly where God in His sovereign grace and providence wants you now to care for His people, be faithful to God’s Word, and display His gospel and His glory. 

 

I didn’t know when exactly to leave my last position until a church called me to pastor.  However, I did know that each of the pastors throughout the years I served with were not who I could serve with in a long-term sense.  There were just too many important differences.  I would begin to pray and ask the Lord to show you where you are to serve Him long-term if where you currently are, is not it.  Then, stay faithful and patient until that time is made clear to you.  May the Lord give you much grace and discernment as you seek his will for your ministry.

 

Remember, the Lord will use you and your faithfulness in the most difficult of circumstances.  Stay faithful.  Keep finding your joy and contentment in Christ alone.  The Lord will make it clear to you when it is time to make a change.  One more thought.  Some of the best advice I have ever received is, “the best time to leave a church is when things are good and encouraging, not when times are difficult and discouraging.”  A good general rule to consider. 

 

Any additional thoughts from others?

 

 

What are some effective ways to communicate love to your wife?

Tuesday I will celebrate 14 years of marriage to my precious wife.  I cannot begin to tell you how undeserving I am of her.  I can only tell you that she is my daily reminder of how merciful God can be to a great sinner like me.  As my anniversary approaches tomorrow, I am challenged to make sure I am deliberate about communicating to her how much she means to me and how my love for her has truly grown every year.  Through many mistakes and failures, I have learned over the years that it is not so much what I plan on our anniversary that communicates my love for her, as much as the creative, thoughtful, and deliberate efforts I made since my last anniversary. 

Here are some ways I have tried to achieve this.  Though I don’t know your wife…I’m willing to bet there is something on this list that your wife would appreciate from you if you made a similar effort.  Notice the one common denominator…surprise for her and sacrifice from you:

Surprise day away.  Take a day off work, but don’t tell her.  Then, the night before or early that morning, spring it on her that you are taking the kids for the day and that she can go and do whatever she wants.  Don’t forget to give her some funds for the day.  This is especially a blessing to those wives who are stay at home moms.

Unexpected date night.  Find babysitters.  Make the restaurant reservations.  Plan the night around what she would love to do.  Don’t reveal your plans until you absolutely must.  Spend a large portion of the evening encouraging your wife in all she does to serve your family and why you love her.

Bring her flowers on YOUR birthday.  Our birthdays are all about us.  If your wife is like mine, she wants it to be special for you also.  I tried this last year and it was great.  Talk about the time when your wife is least expecting flowers.  Anniversary…sure.  Her birthday…yes.  But  to do it on your birthday when you are to be the focus…it was great.  I am aware that there is a risk that your wife could feel bad as she is trying to honor you.  My wife is hard to surprise and sometimes it requires drastic measures to do so.  As you let her know you “couldn’t help yourself” to do this, I trust it will be received warmly. 

Unexpected money or gift.  If you are a pastor, most of our budgets are tight.  If anyone knows that as well as you, it is your wife.  Commonly it is our wives that scrape to make our finances go as far as they do.  That is why an unexpected gift to her, or just an envelope with some cash will be very meaningful.  Attach a note that says, “Thank you for all you do!  Please do whatever you wish with this.  The only requirement is it must be spent on you.”  I assume all wives will be moved by this effort.

I hope this will create a zeal in you to study and know your wife so that you will serve her in a way that communicates clearly the gift from God she is to you.  I am convinced one of the best, most effective ways to communicate that message is when you surprise her with something that demonstrates you sacrificed to make it happen.

What are some practical ways to serve elderly widows this time of year?

Widows always need to be cared for, but as the weather gets cold, greater needs emerge more than at any other time.  These greater needs come in two forms:  The first is increased outdoor upkeep on their property that most elderly widows are physically unable to do.  The second is the long, dark, cold nights that can heighten tendency to depression and prolong feelings of loneliness. 

Because of this, here are some very practical ways to love and serve elderly widows who may suffer from one, if not both of these challenging struggles this time of year:

Rake leaves.  For those who live in places where the seasons change.  Pulling this off without them knowing it was you is especially sweet!

Clean gutters.  If you find an elderly widow cleaning out her own gutters, step in immediately and take over.  Most will just leave this job undone, which can have unfortunate results if left unattended too long.

Shovel snow from driveways.  For those where snow doesn’t fall in significant amounts…think pulling weeds as a substitute.  This is another great way to serve anonymously, if possible.

Rides to and from church or the doctor.  Even if a widow can get to church or the doctor on her own, the kind jester of a ride and personal involvement can be very meaningful.

Change light bulbs.  This is just one example of a physical task in the house that regularly needs to be done.  A general rule can be to set up a time to go to a widow’s house and offer your services in whatever way a widow may need help.

Go fix something.  Widows don’t always have a “handy man” around anymore.  If you are one, make your skills known and offer up your services.

These require a small effort, but almost always have huge fruit to come from it.  These are some of the most significant ways our members serve one another in our local church.  I encourage you to engage in it in yours.  Pastors, make sure you lead by example if you challenge your people to serve in this way.

How can a pastor teach his people to pray and encourage one another?

Regularly praying and encouraging our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ is to be central in our relationships in the local church.  However, I fear if you walked up and asked someone in the church, “How are you praying and encouraging others to spiritually grow?” you might not get an immediate answer…or much of one at all.  Why is this?  Many reasons come to mind.  Yet, it is vital that one reason is not that we as pastors have neglected to give simple, practical, and clear ways to do so.

So, how can we pray and encourage others in helpful ways?  Especially those of us who are pastors, how do we train our people to think to pray and encourage others in ways that will leap to their minds when spontaneously asked?  Jonathan Edward and the way he evaluated those who were truly born of God is a helpful model.  Edwards was great at not just evaluating the evidences of those truly converted, but in doing so also provided excellent templates to know the ways to which we can pray and encourage other Christians.  Edwards says, 

Those truly born of God possess…

 

1)  Heightened esteem for Jesus.

2)  Growing distaste for sin.

3)  Increasing sense of certainty of the truth of Scripture.

4)  Increased tendency to recognize and cherish truth

5)  A spirit of growing love to God and man.

 

 

Use this list to first evaluate your own affections that should be present in every blood bought believer in Jesus Christ.  Secondly, use this list to teach how to specifically pray for your fellow Christians in the local church and to know good fruitful ways to encourage others.  Here is an example of an encouraging word that could be spoken after a confession of sin from one brother to another, “Dear brother, I know you are broken about this growing sense of your own sin, but know this heightened distaste of your sin is evidence of the Spirit’s work in you and should result in the increased affection for Christ you have.” 

 

In a sermon from John 1:1-18 a few weeks ago, I listed these 5 evidences and encouraged our people to first examine their hearts by them and second, pray these things for one another.  Pastors, make sure you are preaching these kinds of practical applications from the pulpit to instruct your people.  Sermons without practical instruction are at risk of being impersonal, running commentaries about a text.  Don’t assume your people know how to connect the dots.  We must teach our people how to pray and encourage one another and the exposition of God’s Word into practical application is what I would argue is how this is best accomplished.

 

Yet, the best model for them to learn is you.  Evaluate your own life.  Pray these affections for yourself.  Desire them for your people.  Tell them that you are praying for them in this way.  Verbally speak words of encouragement to them when you see these affections cultivated in them.  Then, watch your people, by God’s grace, embrace praying and encouraging each other in a similar way.

 

 

How do you care for parents of a new baby in the hospital?

 Our church was blessed with the birth of two new babies this past weekend, actually within 24 hours of each other.  As we celebrated the births of these little ones, I began to get excited about the privilege it is of going to the hospital, being one of the first to see and hold the baby, and care for the parents in what is always one of the most significant moments in their lives.  Here are a few things to think about as you seize these wonderful opportunities to minister to the new parents in your church:

Hold the Baby.  If this made you uncomfortable to just read those three words…feel free to decline.  I had a hard time holding new babies before I had my own.  But if you are willing and able, I encourage you to take a few moments and hold that baby.  The parents (assuming they are comfortable with it) will be encouraged by your effort to come see them and take such an interest in their new addition.  Holding the baby is the best way to communicate that to them.  Providentially, it works nice as a baby fix, since my wife and I are not planning on having any more children of our own.   A small perk of the job.

Read Psalm 139.  This is one of the best passages of Scripture to read.  The psalmist highlights the way God has intimately known each of us as our Creator, created in his image.  What wonderful truths are here about God as the Creator of this little one.  It is a gift every time to read to a mother who has carried this child for nine months, felt him move, and has just given birth hear these words, ” For you formed my inward parts; you weaved me in my mother’s womb.  I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (v.13-14)  What a great reminder to these parents of God’s direct and sovereign hand in bringing this child into their life. 

Pray for the baby’s soul.  You want to pray for the parents, the mother’s physical recovery, and a thankfulness to God for this child being, “fearfully and wonderfully made.”  But, most importantly, pray for the soul of this child.  Pray that the Lord would begin, even now, to open his little heart to know, love, and serve Christ all his days.  Pray that these parents would be faithful to teach the gospel to him so that he would respond to it at a young age.  In praying this way, so many great theological truths of salvation are brought to the surface and can act as an encouragement as well as a great teaching moment to the parents.

Encourage the mother.  Yes, the husband/father has been through much also, but the mom of this new little one has the greatest challenges ahead of her in the near future.  The physical healing of the body and the emotional adjustments the weeks and months after giving birth are very real and significant. Postpartum depression is a very real and common reality for women and should never be dismissed or taken lightly.  Encourage that mom to lean on the other mothers in the church.  Encourage her to ask questions of them.  Seek counsel.  If she finds herself really struggling, not to dismiss it, but allow her husband and a trusted woman in the church to know.

If you think about, there are very few “life-changing” events we get to celebrate in a person’s life at the hospital as a pastor.  Take advantage of them when they come, for the sudden, difficult, and tragic opportunities of hospital visitation will always be there.